If not, can see how it would be unsettling because as best I can tell, you’ve not had female friends for four years and one appears via a call.
Do you know if your GF and/or those near and dear have experienced a significant other having a friend. with whom they become romantically involved or if one or more of ‘em have been the friend with whom things went further?
Does this strike you more as a blip, a one-off or has she said and done other things that reasonably suggest an unhealthy level of insecurity and need for control?
FWIW, a lot of (straight) people, they’re sailing along with an SO, the SO has no different-sex friends and suddenly one appears via a phone call
With that said, and there are some other relevant possibilities that would have a bearing on her reaction, sure, her reaction would and should concern most anyone, not that most anyone is you.
Hard to see the loss in finding the right time and place and tone to have a conversation with your GF. If the call was the first your GF heard of the friend, feels reasonable to relate that the better choice on your part would have been to tell her about the friend from the git-go.
If the GF’s view and tone do not change, up to you if you’re okay with this. If so, like the weather, harder to predict things the further out one goes, but be prepared for a serious possibility that she’s made the first turns of a screw and not the last. posted by ambient2 at 9:54 PM on
Are you attracted to this woman? Are you? Ask yourself honestly, because maybe your girlfriend heard something in your voice or saw something in the way you acted that legitimately worried her.
Maybe she wonders what you will do together. Go to dinner? A movie? https://getbride.org/no/panamanske-kvinner/ Something datey? She can’t imagine what you + a girl could do together because it’s never been an issue before. Maybe you need to arrange some sort of group activity that could accommodate the men and women you both know so she can get comfortable with the idea. posted by idle at AM on
I definitely agree there’s a backstory here, but I disagree that it should be relevant to whether the OP «complies» with his girlfriend’s new rules.
It’s ridiculous. If she really has reason not to trust him, he’ll just sneak around anyway. If she has no reason not to trust him, it’s an unfair restriction. posted by miss tea at 4:04 AM on [1 favorite]
‘ comment she lobbed at me, and it is only my naivete that I can blame for not having warning bells go off. I can tell you what’s in store for you, but I suspect you have a pretty good idea. It is behavior predicated on her distrust of you, tied closely with deep insecurity on her part. Neither of those issues is easily fixed, and the grab-bag of crazy that awaits you will shock and amaze you as it consumes your life. This is one of those rare times where I will unequivocally advise running away as quickly as possible. posted by [1 favorite]
In retrospect, every bad thing that followed in what quickly became a toxic relationship could have been extrapolated perfectly from the first snippy ‘why are you hanging out with HER?
Seems like the context is important here and we can reconcile a number of the different positions taken by posters. I would say this:
