Even though it seems like this person checks all the boxes, it feels like the entire universe is conspiring to keep you apart. And while you might keep trying to make the relationship work, circumstances seem determined to prevent you from being together. In some other reality, the two of you might’ve gone on to have a long and happy love story. But instead, you’re forced to let this person go before your connection has a chance to be fully realized.
This experience can be a source of intense frustration and heartbreak and the task of processing it and moving forward is not an easy one. When external or internal forces are destined to keep you apart, how do you deal?
The truth is, that the factors and circumstances that prevent the relationship from moving forward vary from person to person. In some cases we might even try to make a less-than-perfect relationship work. and it’s important to discern whether this is a good idea or not.
So, unfortunately, there is no universal advice that will make this sucky situation feel better right away. The best you can do is give yourself the space to navigate your feelings and figure out the best course of action for you.
At a Glance
As you navigate the emotional minefield that is meeting the right person and the wrong time, focus on making decisions that are aligned with your values and goals. Prioritize your own needs and make the choice that best supports your long-term happiness. The timing may be off, but clarifying your goals and learning from the experience can help you better recognize what you want in future relationships.
Why Someone Might Be the Right Person at the Wrong Time
All the ingredients for an awesome relationship are there. They’re kind, have a great sense of humor, share your values, and share many of the same interests.
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You seem compatible in almost every way, and they are everything you’ve been looking for-except for that one thing keeping you apart: the timing. Maybe they live on the other side of the country. Or perhaps you’ve just exited a serious long-term relationship and aren’t ready to date yet.
«For people who feel they’ve met the right person at the wrong time, I think it’s important to be able to identify what is drawing them to the person,» says licensed professional counselor Bonnie Scott, LPC.
For example, she suggests asking yourself what makes them seem like the right person and which qualities you are drawn to. It also helps to consider the factors that might be standing in your way.
Bonnie Scott, LPC
What could make this the right time for this relationship? It could be an issue of life stages, jobs, finances, or readiness for the relationship, but I think it helps to recognize the ways you control the timing and the ways you don’t.
If there are factors within your control and you decide the relationship is worth pursuing, you might decide to take the steps to make it happen. In other instances, there might be forces outside of your control working against you.
You Live Too Far Apart
Distance might make the heart fonder, but sometimes fondness doesn’t translate into a workable relationship. They might be the right person, but how do you make it work when you live in separate cities, states, or even time zones?
Research has found that couples involved in long-distance relationships are more likely to separate than those who live near one another.
